When rappers signed up for dog breeds to name themselves after, Pit Bull must have been way ahead of Dandie Dinmont Terrier.
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Rock Paper Scissors hasn't been the same since they came out with the Black & Decker Two-Finger High-Speed Imaginary Rock-Cutting Scissors.
Austinites! My amanuensis and/or I shall be appearing at Bookpeople tomorrow (Monday) at 7. That means thee, Rathbone!tinyurl.com/3kfjplo
I am not a foodie, because as God I am already so many different kinds of asshole that I don't need to be one more. #TheLastTestament
Just took out an insurance policy on the earth for $5 quintillion dollars. It pays double in the event of fire. [Pause.] Have a great day!
If you look up the word "courage" in the dictionary, you have a pretty limited vocabulary.
A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two is never sure. And a man with three is Flavor Flav.
Big-picture people see it as global deforestation. Detail-oriented people see it as global de-trees-ation. Point is, humanity's doomed.
Only a God like Me would put millions of lactose-intolerant creatures smack dab in the middle of the Milky Way.